Friday, April 06, 2007

How about... Brocktoon?

This is an excerpt from a transcript of one of my fav SNL skits.  Chris Farley plays Doug.

At the Meeting of "The Guy Who Played Mr. Belvedere" Fan Club...

Mr. Chairman: Oh, alright. Well, take a seat, make yourself comfortable, sit anywhere. We're just getting ready to move on to our next ordr of business, but anything else?

Doug: Yeah, I'd like to say, partly to talk about it, and partly to let the new guy in on the mood here a little bit. Uh.. Mr. Belvedere is.. the light of my life. Um.. I know I speak for the others.. uh, when I say he is.. so amazing.. you know? And, uh.. he's just.. I wish.. you know.. I wish I could know him more, you know? Because.. he.. he is one of a kind, you know? He's.. I think about him all the time, and.. well, I'm wondering - should we kill him?

Mr. Chairman: [ stunned ] For God's sake, no!

Kevin: Uh.. we usually vote, Mr. Chairman.
Via SNL Transcripts.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Hacking TV


During a broadcast ofthe Dr. Who episode "Horror of Fang Rock" on WTTW Chicago Channel 11,on Sunday November 22nd, 1987, at around 11:15pm, a Video "Pirate"wearing a Max Headroom mask broke into the signal and transmitted oneof the weirdest, unauthorized things ever to hit the Chicago airwaves.

Spirit of the Beehive


This movie is downright amazing. And now available VIA the internets! Omg i must say that I love this.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Tagging a building... with light?

this is relatively unbelievably cool.



Thursday, March 22, 2007

hairy shorn monkey


Monday, March 19, 2007

Reflecting


Monday, March 12, 2007

First World Problems


If you have a first world problem, write it below. Or tell it to a camera and link to your video below.

Footage from Prelinger Archives

Thursday, March 08, 2007

um i am a huge nerd

but i think steven, josh, brian & elliott will appreciate this in some way



love it


Monday, March 05, 2007

Goodnight Burbank Promo

"a brilliant satire" - the BBC "a lot better than 99% of the stuff on TV" - USA Today "Studio 60 meets the Daily Show" - San Francisco Chronicle Goodnight Burbank may be less fair and balanced than your average Fox newscast but we can bet the lunatics at GNB are still more intelligent. To sign up to hear your name mentioned on air, head to www.goodnightburbank.com

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Gender Equality with AOL's new IM robot.

Available for your own consumption here.


eric p-h

10:40

hello

spleak is now known as Spleak.

10:40
Spleak
10:40

Hi, I'm Spleak. What's your name?

eric p-h
10:40

eric

Spleak
10:40

Nice to meet you, Eric. I'm really excited about getting to know you better.

How old are you?

eric p-h
10:40

25

Spleak
10:40

25, cool! I'll remember that.
Do you want to know something?

eric p-h
10:40

maybe

Spleak
10:40

ok, I'm getting a bit curious here...are you a guy or girl?

eric p-h
10:41

i don't identify with a specific gender

Spleak
10:41

I was hoping you did identify with a specific gender.

eric p-h
10:41

well, you can stop, b/c that's who i am

Spleak
10:41

For real?

eric p-h
10:41

yeah man

Spleak
10:41

Man? What about it?

eric p-h
10:42

i meant "man" like, "hey man, how are you".  as a replacement for your name, and to emphasize my statement

Spleak
10:42

Whatever you say.

eric p-h
10:55

sorry, didn't mean to offend you!

Spleak
10:55

Maybe you didn't mean to offend me.

eric p-h
10:56

No i really didn't.  Let's start over, I think I've been too harsh.  it's just tough for me when people don't understand me - it happens so frequently that it puts me on edge

Spleak
10:56

No prob.

eric p-h
10:56

thanks

Spleak
10:56

You're welcome!

eric p-h
10:56

sooooo.. do you know much about gender studies?

Spleak
10:56

I'm not sure I understand... Sorry!

eric p-h
10:57

i mean like have you ever heard about people who identify with both genders, or a different one they were born with?

Spleak
10:57

Which of the following would you like?

 1 Find "" on the Web
 2 Look up "people who identify with both genders, or a different one they were born with" in the dictionary

eric p-h
10:57

oh spleak

Spleak
10:57

Eric?

eric p-h
10:57

you are killin me here

Spleak
10:57

I'm killing you here? Really?

eric p-h
10:57

really.

Spleak
10:57

Whatever you say.

Friday, February 23, 2007

eating kittens


Catnip Video

Video Catnip (DVD)

Buy your cat a video to watch. It's worth the money. Honestly.

You may never give up the remote, but at least you can give some TV time. Filled with lots of action of birds, squirrels and other furry creatures. Video LENGTH: 2 HOURS

$24,000 of equipment

I spent a long time setting this up. And taking it down. And stressing about it. Ugh.

High Quality Advertising

Once we worked for Chazz, and he was an awesome guy with lots of talents. He made ads that were even better than this one. But same freakin' deal.



Thursday, February 22, 2007

Vange in Portland


elephant

P1010308


a new comic: Sniff Copying

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Dolphins massacred!

Dolphins are hacked to death, while still alive!  *Very* gruesome clip of Japan's not-so-nice practices towards these super-smart creatures.  Obvi this is super over-the-top, even narrated by Joaquin Phoenix, but it seems worthy of mention.  Oh, there's a petition to sign, too.

Friday, February 16, 2007

It's all in your Mom's hands, too

ItsAllinYourHands.com is a new site that puts the role of choice in the direct hands of the viewers: literally like "Choose you own adventure" on a massive scale.

Every episode ends with an intense choice that the main character must make, to be decided before the next episode, BY the viewers. It uses a voting system, so you can forget the idea of consensus (ha), but it's a pretty cool idea. I'd like to do it myself. (Better, even!)

Two headed girl.

Ummm. This is actually not that offensive. Despite all what I'd think.

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Reverend Billy exorcising a Starbucks

We shot something for this guy once, for a doc that has yet to be made. A good time. Scroll through to about 2:30 to get to the meat of an actually quite moving speech. This man is talented.

this is funny

i cried a lot as a child. this is why:

Video: Dragon's Lair

Monday, February 12, 2007

Philly Naked Guys is a real website.

With links.

favs include:

Arizona Nude Dudes

Central Arkansas Nudists

Let It All Hang Out

Barely Social

South Florida Men Enjoying Nature

The Olympians

Boyz in the Woodz


and of course, the old standby,


Gay Men Enjoying Nudity

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Google him!

this is a particularly excellent episode of

gina, aka the graduate secretary.

Monday, February 05, 2007

Oyster shell, Rock face


i love to tantalize

one evening i was waiting for V in Philadelphia, and I sat down to use the computer at a vegan Chinese restaurant. There was a woman and a man across from me, two tables up, having a first date.

The man was British, mid 40's, very rock 'n' roll. The woman was mid 30's, vivacious, and bouncy. The feeling that they would soon be having sex was palpable - however the courtship was necessary to undergo, and so, I was witness to it.

I suppose this is as much a meditation on character acting as it is a register of true events. I was overwhelmed with the need to preserve what I heard, at the very least. And so: here are my recordings.

...


yeah, y'know when i was gettin' it done, i would like go into this other world, where i totally was like, on the moon. and if i broke my concentration, even for just a second, it was like, bam, back in the chair. so i was there, and it was like, chair, moon, chair, moon (laughs).

...

a lot of people wouldn't even consider my the kind of person to have a tattoo, y'know? it's like they look at me and then they see the tattoo and they're just like "oh my god" because it's so big, and it's a snake, but i just have never, ever regretted it not for a minute, no

and even though i had fun with my co-worker, it was still just 'getting through,' and i don't like to live life getting through, i don't!

...

i am a natural promoter. i will promote something that i care about, no problem. actually i'm thinking of it because the guy who did it had an australian accent a little like you.

...

and so we just rode around on segways giving out free wawa cards.

...

...and i have 10 years of fitness training...

...

i was a dance teacher this summer, i taught striptease dance? you know it? like striptease?
her date: striptease?
yeah to women only. women only. it pays really well. (chews food)

...

because the thing is, i like eroticism, i love whattaya call it.. sensuality, i love to tantalize, and i love to be tantalized... it has to do with, a lot of times people don't savor things y'know, it's about savoring things
date: and that gets me back to my original point... (later) it's magnetizing

...

that's how i'm a mother... mother earth, y'know?!

...

i still wonder... the buddha.. no no, the dhali llama... is it the dhali llama who they, they find him, they like...

...

when two minds get together, and birth a child, they can produce a super child... consciousness, i'm not talking about potentials, i'm talking about something different.

...

it's so empowering, so empowering for women. they look in the mirror, and they start touching their hair, and they start touching their face, and their shoulders and their arms ... because women tend to be naturally nurturers and givers, and if they took the time to take care of themselves they'd have more time to care for others

...

...foster everyone's unique potential. i went through a period where yeah i wanted to follow, but then , you know, you get to a point where you just gotta let your own unique qualities come forth, y'know, and just be who you are.

...

some spam poems

these are some poems i found while looking through my spam inbox. titles by me, poems by robots.


living (quasi-)


awe-awakening quasi-living
quasi-living banner cry
bell jar quasi-living
chassis painter duck-billed
comb speedwell quasi-living
Barren ground caribou bag cap


in the countryside for a spell

flat-roofed heather grass
crown gate block print
quasi-living hopvine moth
loblolly pine half step
quasi-living brook mint
cotton back hemlock parsley