eph

How about... Brocktoon?

2007-04-06T10:01:00.001-07:00

This is an excerpt from a transcript of one of my fav SNL skits. Chris Farley plays Doug.

At the Meeting of "The Guy Who Played Mr. Belvedere" Fan Club...

Mr. Chairman: Oh, alright. Well, take a seat, make yourself comfortable, sit anywhere. We're just getting ready to move on to our next ordr of business, but anything else?
Doug: Yeah, I'd like to say, partly to talk about it, and partly to let the new guy in on the mood here a little bit. Uh.. Mr. Belvedere is.. the light of my life. Um.. I know I speak for the others.. uh, when I say he is.. so amazing.. you know? And, uh.. he's just.. I wish.. you know.. I wish I could know him more, you know? Because.. he.. he is one of a kind, you know? He's.. I think about him all the time, and.. well, I'm wondering - should we kill him?

Mr. Chairman: [ stunned ] For God's sake, no!

Kevin: Uh.. we usually vote, Mr. Chairman.

Via SNL Transcripts.

Hacking TV

2007-04-05T20:27:00.001-07:00

During a broadcast ofthe Dr. Who episode "Horror of Fang Rock" on WTTW Chicago Channel 11,on Sunday November 22nd, 1987, at around 11:15pm, a Video "Pirate"wearing a Max Headroom mask broke into the signal and transmitted oneof the weirdest, unauthorized things ever to hit the Chicago airwaves.

Spirit of the Beehive

2007-04-05T09:01:00.001-07:00

This movie is downright amazing. And now available VIA the internets! Omg i must say that I love this.

Tagging a building... with light?

2007-03-27T07:27:00.001-07:00

this is relatively unbelievably cool.

L.A.S.E.R Tag
Uploaded by bnjlinks

hairy shorn monkey

2007-03-22T10:50:00.001-07:00

Reflecting

2007-03-19T18:15:00.001-07:00

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!

2007-03-16T09:32:00.001-07:00

thank god for Cute Overload! :)

First World Problems

2007-03-12T09:06:00.001-07:00

Click To Play

If you have a first world problem, write it below. Or tell it to a camera and link to your video below.

Footage from Prelinger Archives

um i am a huge nerd

2007-03-08T21:07:00.001-08:00

but i think steven, josh, brian & elliott will appreciate this in some way

love it

2007-03-08T20:17:00.001-08:00

Goodnight Burbank Promo

2007-03-05T01:06:00.001-08:00

Click to Play

"a brilliant satire" - the BBC "a lot better than 99% of the stuff on TV" - USA Today "Studio 60 meets the Daily Show" - San Francisco Chronicle Goodnight Burbank may be less fair and balanced than your average Fox newscast but we can bet the lunatics at GNB are still more intelligent. To sign up to hear your name mentioned on air, head to www.goodnightburbank.com

Gender Equality with AOL's new IM robot.

2007-03-01T08:25:00.001-08:00

Available for your own consumption here.

eric p-h

10:40

hello

spleak is now known as Spleak.

10:40
Spleak
10:40

Hi, I'm Spleak. What's your name?

eric p-h
10:40

eric

Spleak
10:40

Nice to meet you, Eric. I'm really excited about getting to know you better.

How old are you?

eric p-h
10:40

25

Spleak
10:40

25, cool! I'll remember that.
Do you want to know something?

eric p-h
10:40

maybe

Spleak
10:40

ok, I'm getting a bit curious here...are you a guy or girl?

eric p-h
10:41

i don't identify with a specific gender

Spleak
10:41

I was hoping you did identify with a specific gender.

eric p-h
10:41

well, you can stop, b/c that's who i am

Spleak
10:41

For real?

eric p-h
10:41

yeah man

Spleak
10:41

Man? What about it?

eric p-h
10:42

i meant "man" like, "hey man, how are you". as a replacement for your name, and to emphasize my statement

Spleak
10:42

Whatever you say.

eric p-h
10:55

sorry, didn't mean to offend you!

Spleak
10:55

Maybe you didn't mean to offend me.

eric p-h
10:56

No i really didn't. Let's start over, I think I've been too harsh. it's just tough for me when people don't understand me - it happens so frequently that it puts me on edge

Spleak
10:56

No prob.

eric p-h
10:56

thanks

Spleak
10:56

You're welcome!

eric p-h
10:56

sooooo.. do you know much about gender studies?

Spleak
10:56

I'm not sure I understand... Sorry!

eric p-h
10:57

i mean like have you ever heard about people who identify with both genders, or a different one they were born with?

Spleak
10:57

Which of the following would you like?

1 Find "" on the Web
2 Look up "people who identify with both genders, or a different one they were born with" in the dictionary

eric p-h
10:57

oh spleak

Spleak
10:57

Eric?

eric p-h
10:57

you are killin me here

Spleak
10:57

I'm killing you here? Really?

eric p-h
10:57

really.

Spleak
10:57

Whatever you say.

eating kittens

2007-02-23T13:46:00.001-08:00

Catnip Video

2007-02-23T12:37:00.001-08:00

Buy your cat a video to watch. It's worth the money. Honestly.

You may never give up the remote, but at least you can give some TV time. Filled with lots of action of birds, squirrels and other furry creatures. Video LENGTH: 2 HOURS

$24,000 of equipment

2007-02-23T09:09:00.001-08:00

I spent a long time setting this up. And taking it down. And stressing about it. Ugh.

High Quality Advertising

2007-02-23T08:04:00.001-08:00

Once we worked for Chazz, and he was an awesome guy with lots of talents. He made ads that were even better than this one. But same freakin' deal.

Vange in Portland

2007-02-22T21:41:00.001-08:00

elephant

2007-02-22T21:33:00.001-08:00

P1010308

2007-02-22T12:29:00.001-08:00

Click to Play

a new comic: Sniff Copying

2007-02-22T10:27:00.001-08:00

Dolphins massacred!

2007-02-21T07:07:00.001-08:00

Dolphins are hacked to death, while still alive! *Very* gruesome clip of Japan's not-so-nice practices towards these super-smart creatures. Obvi this is super over-the-top, even narrated by Joaquin Phoenix, but it seems worthy of mention. Oh, there's a petition to sign, too.

Blowy Guy

2007-02-20T22:27:00.001-08:00

Amorphous Head

2007-02-20T22:25:00.001-08:00

It's all in your Mom's hands, too

2007-02-16T12:45:00.001-08:00

ItsAllinYourHands.com is a new site that puts the role of choice in the direct hands of the viewers: literally like "Choose you own adventure" on a massive scale.

Every episode ends with an intense choice that the main character must make, to be decided before the next episode, BY the viewers. It uses a voting system, so you can forget the idea of consensus (ha), but it's a pretty cool idea. I'd like to do it myself. (Better, even!)

Two headed girl.

2007-02-16T11:30:00.001-08:00

Ummm. This is actually not that offensive. Despite all what I'd think.

Reverend Billy exorcising a Starbucks

2007-02-15T13:55:00.001-08:00

We shot something for this guy once, for a doc that has yet to be made. A good time. Scroll through to about 2:30 to get to the meat of an actually quite moving speech. This man is talented.

this is funny

2007-02-15T13:53:00.001-08:00

i cried a lot as a child. this is why:

Video: Dragon's Lair

Philly Naked Guys is a real website.

2007-02-12T11:03:00.001-08:00

With links.

favs include:

Arizona Nude Dudes

Central Arkansas Nudists

Let It All Hang Out

Barely Social

South Florida Men Enjoying Nature

The Olympians

Boyz in the Woodz

and of course, the old standby,

Gay Men Enjoying Nudity

Google him!

2007-02-06T08:45:00.001-08:00

this is a particularly excellent episode of

gina, aka the graduate secretary.

Oyster shell, Rock face

2007-02-05T22:38:00.001-08:00

i love to tantalize

2007-02-05T21:59:00.000-08:00

one evening i was waiting for V in Philadelphia, and I sat down to use the computer at a vegan Chinese restaurant. There was a woman and a man across from me, two tables up, having a first date.

The man was British, mid 40's, very rock 'n' roll. The woman was mid 30's, vivacious, and bouncy. The feeling that they would soon be having sex was palpable - however the courtship was necessary to undergo, and so, I was witness to it.

I suppose this is as much a meditation on character acting as it is a register of true events. I was overwhelmed with the need to preserve what I heard, at the very least. And so: here are my recordings.

...

yeah, y'know when i was gettin' it done, i would like go into this other world, where i totally was like, on the moon. and if i broke my concentration, even for just a second, it was like, bam, back in the chair. so i was there, and it was like, chair, moon, chair, moon (laughs).

...

a lot of people wouldn't even consider my the kind of person to have a tattoo, y'know? it's like they look at me and then they see the tattoo and they're just like "oh my god" because it's so big, and it's a snake, but i just have never, ever regretted it not for a minute, no

and even though i had fun with my co-worker, it was still just 'getting through,' and i don't like to live life getting through, i don't!

...

i am a natural promoter. i will promote something that i care about, no problem. actually i'm thinking of it because the guy who did it had an australian accent a little like you.

...

and so we just rode around on segways giving out free wawa cards.

...

...and i have 10 years of fitness training...

...

i was a dance teacher this summer, i taught striptease dance? you know it? like striptease?
her date: striptease?
yeah to women only. women only. it pays really well. (chews food)

...

because the thing is, i like eroticism, i love whattaya call it.. sensuality, i love to tantalize, and i love to be tantalized... it has to do with, a lot of times people don't savor things y'know, it's about savoring things
date: and that gets me back to my original point... (later) it's magnetizing

...

that's how i'm a mother... mother earth, y'know?!

...

i still wonder... the buddha.. no no, the dhali llama... is it the dhali llama who they, they find him, they like...

...

when two minds get together, and birth a child, they can produce a super child... consciousness, i'm not talking about potentials, i'm talking about something different.

...

it's so empowering, so empowering for women. they look in the mirror, and they start touching their hair, and they start touching their face, and their shoulders and their arms ... because women tend to be naturally nurturers and givers, and if they took the time to take care of themselves they'd have more time to care for others

...

...foster everyone's unique potential. i went through a period where yeah i wanted to follow, but then , you know, you get to a point where you just gotta let your own unique qualities come forth, y'know, and just be who you are.

...

some spam poems

2007-02-05T21:56:00.000-08:00

these are some poems i found while looking through my spam inbox. titles by me, poems by robots.

living (quasi-)

awe-awakening quasi-living
quasi-living banner cry
bell jar quasi-living
chassis painter duck-billed
comb speedwell quasi-living
Barren ground caribou bag cap

in the countryside for a spell

flat-roofed heather grass
crown gate block print
quasi-living hopvine moth
loblolly pine half step
quasi-living brook mint
cotton back hemlock parsley